She’s Back in the Cesspool


“Mom, I activated an online dating profile.”

My first response was to think “WTF” which is loosely translated as WTF. My second response was to repeat my first response which means…WTF.

While I understood the reason why she was back in the game, I would have preferred if she looked offline and weeded through the faces that can’t lie about their faces! Or their age, employment, felony charges or need to wear a kilt.

Actually the kilt-clad lad was at least up front about it in his profile, so score one for the dobber; he’s not a liar. But he does wear a kilt. Next.

online datingphoto credit: Brett Jordan via photopin cc

I couldn’t believe she was about to go wading through the toxic cesspool of online dating. Who does that? Besides everyone?

I know it’s the natural evolution of living in a very socially public and device driven society, but it seems like it just makes it easier for the creepers to scuttle out of their basement dungeons and attempt to mingle with children like mine!

dating onlinephoto credit: Don Hankins via photopin cc

I’m not even sure young people view online dating as enough of a danger, because social connections have been a huge part of their lives since the jump. We had much more in the way of safety nets back in the stone age.

My daughter overflows with common sense, but I still worry and hope that she’s doing everything she can to protect herself as she meets these “strangers”. For instance:

✔ Drive separately to a public location during daylight hours.

✔ Make sure the dating sites she is using are https: security-encrypted.

✔ Use a throwaway phone number until she’s sure the person is “safe”.

✔ Always alert a friend (or a mama) to where she will be and when.

✔ Keep her IP and location anonymous by going through a virtual private server like Hotspot Shield. It’s one of the easiest ways to hide information that shouldn’t be given out too soon.

??  Become a nun. Dating is overrated.

Do you know anyone who’s been online dating? Are they following the safety tips?


This post is part of my Hotspot Shield ambassadorship.


  1. says

    I have actually been on a couple of dates where I met the guys online. I would call my friend and put her on mute and her the same until I felt safe then I would hang up. Staying safe is SO important.

  2. says

    To be fair, dating online or offline comes with risks. While you’re right that offline dates can’t lie about things like their looks they can, and do, lie about much bigger things. Bad people can be found anywhere. You should always be careful. People you meet offline are “strangers” too.

    Maybe I’m biased. I met my fiance online, though not on a dating website. I wouldn’t have found him if not for it, considering we lived a few hours apart and it was unlikely our paths would cross. There’s a wider selection out there than what a hometown can really offer. And sometimes you can find someone you have a lot in common with if you’re willing to turn on the computer and step away from the bar scene and blind dates.

  3. says

    If it makes you feel any better, I know so many couples who are in happy marriages and long-term relationships that began from online dating sites. In fact, I think Jai and I are pretty much the only couple in our circle of friends that *Didn’t* meet online, which is hilarious since we’re the ones that are such computer nerds. But absolutely, we should use caution and keep our information guarded everywhere – and that definitely applies to any and all dates, whether they are with people met in person or online. I’ve met people face-to-face that turned out to be liars, so I think it’s important for people on the dating scene to be cynical and street smart in all situations.

  4. Terra Heck says

    I met my husband through online dating. Well, actually ICQ (instant messaging site). Things turned out well for me, but I know there’s lots and lots of creeps out there that aren’t safe to meet, let alone date.

  5. says

    I’ve done the online dating scene. It is actually a lot easier to date online than it is in person in many cases. However, I’ve also watched my Dad and his now ex-wife’s relationship unfold from them meeting online in chat rooms. It can be a bit scary to say the least.

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